don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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