yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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