i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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