I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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