I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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