Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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