there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
