He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
