I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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