Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
