If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
