Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
