Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
