laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
