New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
