He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Someone came in the potted fern
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
