Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
