You work out of a Hotel?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
