I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
