Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
