Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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