I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
