need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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