i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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