what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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