you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
