mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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