The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
