Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We just shotgunned beers for America
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
