Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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