Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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