Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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