And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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