Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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