I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my liver is dry heaving
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
