It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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