You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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