That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
