She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
