I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
