He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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