what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
