Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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