she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize