Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
