His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
