Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just had sex on a roof
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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