So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
