the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
