Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
