i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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