IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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