i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i dont even know how to be here
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
