Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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