For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
