i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
