Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
