so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
