if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
